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June 6, 2011 / quietlystrange

on my own, would you leave me alone, before i lose my mind.

here we go again….wonder if this whole music and blog thing is working or not… hmmm…

 

Yesterday I let myself be happy. Stupid, stupid girl. When am I ever going to learn that that just isn’t how my life goes.

So here I sit

and just want to curl up and hide from the world because I can’t keep loving,

because you know what,

it just hurts too much to be the constantly disappointed one,

the one who actually cares as opposed to the one who is happy to use me for nothing one day,

then the next day not give a damn if they don’t see me for however long

– because of course, none of it really mattered and it was all just words that fall into empty silence and mean less than anything else ever would….

and I end up here curled around a small ball of misery that says but he says he cares but then says you expect too much if you think he should…

and you know what he wouldn’t cry, he’ll never cry.

I doubt he’d ever notice, he’d just find a reason to make it my fault somehow and that way feel self righteous.

I was just an idiot for having a happy music day.

A happy music and hope day.

Foolish girl.

When will I ever learn to just Let Go of anything that means anything and most importantly

DON’T PLAY THIS GAME

 

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