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May 29, 2011 / quietlystrange

Hold Your own, Know your name and Go your own way…..

As usual click here 

I’m so tired of the hurt, the feeling of alone….and it terrifying. I don’t know how to get through this alone. But alone is all I have. I cancelled my Facebook account today, its so scary watching family I’m trying to get closer to just revolving in their own world and not responding to anything I email, text or feel.

Its hard doing this so on my own, and on my own I am.

For the artist has his all so important very loud voice and slumber.

and the cool guy is going through one of those “I don’t really know what I want in my life do I want you, yes/no?!?” times

and well the little ones are too little to do anything but be scared.

And the horrible thing is if I SI its okay by everybody – if I scream and throw phones I get screamed at for expressing my pain in any way except against myself – and this is the thing its never at someone….and it just hurts so much. That I have to bleed and thats fine, but sob uncontrollably, email others for support, fling a phone at a wardrobe because no one in my family can be bothered to reply – thats not okay…

So this song is all I have. “Hold your own, Know your name and Go your own way” and how it reminds me of the actor – who I know would care if he had time, but he doesn’t have space right now in head or heart.

I just wish I knew how to get through the next bit and that it wasn’t just me and these words, just me and the music and this blog.

But I guess thats just my life.

Just details in the fabric.

 

 

 

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2 Comments

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  1. Zoe / May 31 2011 9:55 pm

    My heart is racing after reading this, I just wish I could give you a hug. I don’t know exactly what you’re going through, but I get the feeling we’ve had similar and horrible experiences. Seriously, email if you want, I’m very open with what I’ve gone through, and maybe feeling less alone would help you. Thank you for your lovely comment, I’m taking the little victories, and I will get to a market soon!

    • quietlystrange / May 31 2011 10:06 pm

      Thank you hon *HUGS MANY* I just couldn’t keep doing the whole faux happy everything is well mostly right feel of old blog hence this thing…seems to have its own life…thank you so much for being the very first to be brave enough to comment *HUGS*

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