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May 23, 2011 / quietlystrange

Breathe Me

See, I’d been trying to save this till my next episode of SI – but it seems much more apt now

Same as last time – click on the link and listen while you read….

Tomorrow I go to CASA. That is a counselling service for survivors of whatmyfatherdid and that’s what it is right now – whatmyfatherdid

And I’m so scared that tomorrow that will change. That I’ll take it apart and examine the parts and fall apart and what if I don’t come out the other side of that? How do you get through that? How do you deal? How do you survive all those years when you feel like you are still there….

Its so scary. I’m so scared of losing me. I know the current me is crap but at least it is a me – you know? I know this me – the me that glosses over it all the me that talks over it all instead of through it – and feeling that shatter even just a little is horrible. And scary.

Also doctor = blood tests= low sodium = below baseline sodium = scary there too….

Wish I knew who I was.

Breathe Me.

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